The primary reason is because of the interactions with others it creates. Some people seem to think of me as nothing more than a CS/Math resource. Here's a sampling of some AIM logs:
(19:51:56) Anonymous: where are you
(19:51:56) Mntl Chaos: not here
(19:51:58) Anonymous: help help
(19:51:59) Anonymous: math
(22:31:29) Anonymous: help us?
(18:29:51) Anonymous: yuily
(18:29:51) Mntl Chaos: not here
(18:29:56) Anonymous: what is the antiderivative of (4x-5)/(x^2-3x-4)
(18:30:54) Anonymous: yuliy
(18:30:55) Anonymous: sorry
(16:39:50) Anonymous: hey do you know what the integral of 1/4^x is?
(12:05:25) Anonymous B: hi Yuliy
(12:05:25) Mntl Chaos: not here
(12:06:12) Anonymous B: so...I'm still working on this shell assignment for CS
(12:06:28) Anonymous B: and there are 2 cases that aren't passing (both for the same reason) and i can't figure out what is the matter
(12:07:00) Anonymous B: do you have any time this afternoon/evening when you could look at it? (it's due tomorrow at 9 O:-))
(12:44:33) Anonymous C: Sometime, I would like to know how to interface PHP with C++ (if that's possible).
It's as if all I am is a tool for getting homework done without learning material.
This leads me to wonder how many of the people I would call "friends" are just being nice enough to me to get help with homeworks. Some people don't even do that. All I get is a "thank you soooo much" and then I don't hear a word from them until the next homework is looming on the horizon.
When my grandmother passed away, I was gone for about 5 days. Only a couple people even noticed, seemingly. Those few that did actually seem to care I am honestly grateful to, and I will remember that kindness.
Ugh. I don't want to think about this any more. I just want to be a human being, not a computer/homework help resource.
5 comments:
Yuliy, I try to compete with you, but I could not even compare. You blow me away.
That said, you're a good guy and a good friend.
for what it's worth, i know exactly what you're talking about. i know it's hard for a generous personality, but sometimes you just have to say, i have my own things to do, so do yours yourself. live it up.
Yuliy, I feel your pain.
Yuliy, I'm very very sorry if I've ever made you feel this way :(
Sad (and sorry) that I had similar conversation with you over AIM. Don't put yourself in that position though. You are very kind/helpful/amiable person and others won't ask you question if you weren't. When they (or I) say 'thank you', it is sincerely meant. If it burndens you, you should let them know.
Of friendship, I want you to know that whether I am living in Korea or US, you are always welcome to visit me at where I live. I'll provide you with everything (tourism, food, lodging) but the plane ticket.
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